Nix Prized Pig

Though I may just be a simple minded male homo-sapien, it is still beyond my comprehension to how the female mind works. I understand the general workings; eating, sleeping, learning, and wearing white jeans while playing tennis during Tampax commercials, yet most of the behavioral things are still a mystery. While I’m well understanding that the majority of women desire a male counterpart of some sort, it’s become apparent during my years since puberty began that I am apparently not a Grade A product. Now, don’t go on saying “Alejandro, that’s not true!” unless you can give any specific scientific evidence that the following is not faithful to being genuine.

It’s fairly obvious why females (commonly known as “girls”) were not wowed by my appearance by the arguments given in my blog “Fashion By Alejandro,” and the fact that I was a smelly teenager with deplorable self-esteem levels, and my lacking personality. Yet once I entered college I was able to lose most of my previous wardrobes, and gain a crème-filled nugget of self-confidence. This proved only able to attract two certain types of people, insane girls who often didn’t bath and saw me as only a piece of meat on sale at Kroger’s for $2.99 a pound. The other type often found Larry the Cable Guy a rather funny fellow, which is a no-no in many people's books. Then again, these were the kinds of girls who were open about their interest in me, if there were any sane ones they were likely to have kept their mouth closed. Perhaps when God was giving out pheromones he ran out and scraped what he could out of the bottom of the barrel and handed it over, before bringing in a new case.



Working with the public only furthers my grief, not that I particularly like customers, but it might be nice if they accept the fact that I exist, and that I’m not just some fevered-hallucination. Tonight (8-12-2010) I was working in box with my friend David, and was able to have myself a jolly-old time especially since only about ten percent of the population of customers came to my register. I would be sitting behind the possibly bullet proof glass looking out at the line of people who quickly look in my direction then focus themselves back at David. I was largely fine with this, except the fact that none of the people who came over to my window was female, with the exception of pre-pubescent girls, and middle-aged women with their husbands. Has no age appropriate girl got any love for ol’ Alejandro? I know that I am not dashingly good looking, but that doesn’t affect my skill at selling tickets, and counting change, if anything it might make me more effective at those activates.

David even admitted that he was nothing special to look at, though for some reason any girl that was at least mildly attractive came to my window. I know I’m no prized pig, but I’m not so hideous that people won’t even want to purchase tickets from me, perhaps this is the way that Joseph Merrick experienced the world. But then again he didn’t work in a movie theater.



There was one example where a girl and her friend did come up to me, while there weren’t any other customers around and began to purchase a ticket from me. Midway through her sentence David went to his microphone and said “I can help whomever is ready over here.” Towards the girl’s friend, and a couple that walked up during the transaction. Instead of continuing her transaction with me, the girl who was buying a ticket from me, cut herself off, and with great speed stepped over to David’s register leaving me hanging. It’s not like I was going to ask for her number or bust out my accordion and attempt to serenade her. Apparently I was far to unappealing to even give money to, so I was immediately released from her business proceeding.

Despite the fact that I’m almost never out to try and woo women, the way some have looked upon me with such disdain leads me to believe that perhaps I should surrender and go live my life as an ice fisher who hates halibut. Years of being considered as some kind of un-castrated eunuch has made my view of the fairer sex warped and unable to see anything but their disdain for me. Then again maybe all of them are simply turned off by my constant un-trained ukulele playing.